Alma Bax 
We often think of substance abuse as an individual problem, but the reality is that it also affects those close to them. Codependency in substance abuse describes the dynamic between people affected by someone’s alcohol or drug use – whether they’re involved in a romantic relationship, family member, friend, or even colleague.
While codependency can manifest differently in each person and situation, it almost always results from unwarranted feelings of guilt and responsibility for their loved one’s addiction- rather than looking out for themselves first.
This blog explores codependency, how to identify if you have fallen into this pattern where your life revolves around somebody else’s substance misuse and ways to find relief from its grip on your life and achieve Los Angeles sober living through the proper treatment.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a learned behavior where one person becomes dependent on another for emotional fulfillment.
The codependent person tends to keep their feelings about the substance abuse and its consequences inside instead of speaking up and requesting help or expressing hurt.
The codependent person will also put their loved one’s needs above their own, creating an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship.
Codependent behavior can manifest in many ways, such as enabling lousy behavior, rescuing a loved one from their addiction without seeking help, and trying to control someone else’s substance abuse issues.
Codependence and Addiction
Codependency in addiction most often occurs in relationships where one person has an addiction to drugs or alcohol.
The codependent person will try to manage their loved one’s substance abuse by taking over responsibilities, making excuses, and providing financial support without addressing the underlying issue.
This creates an unhealthy cycle of codependency that can make it hard for the addicted person to get help and progress in recovery.
It can manifest in multiple ways:
● Partners that use drugs concurrently
● Those who are close to adult family or significant others of drug users
● Children whose parents have a drug addiction or are drug addicts
The relationship’s codependent partner need not be married. How to spot child codependent behavior is described in Psychology Today.
Children of drug and alcohol addicts frequently develop codependence, significantly when the addiction has progressed to the point where the youngster feels the need to share parental caregiving duties.
Signs of Codependency
Symptoms of codependency include:
Low Self-esteem
Outside of the codependent relationship, the codependent person could feel unlovable and depends on the approval of others to experience a sense of personal, positive self-worth.
People-pleasing
For the codependent person, other people’s perspectives carry much weight.
This person will go to great lengths to maintain their good reputation. The individual could experience overwhelming remorse or struggle to say “no” to others.
Caretaking
In extreme cases, the individual doesn’t feel secure or comfortable unless necessary; instead, they feel a strong desire to look out for others, frequently at the expense of taking care of themselves.
Unhealthy or Absent Boundaries
The codependent individual might not understand the importance of setting boundaries for themselves or others.
To feel secure, these people could give unsolicited advice, feel responsible for other people’s emotions, or try to manipulate or control others.
Obsession With Relationships
In contrast to actual relationships, which may lack emotional connection, the codependent person may become obsessive because they believe that relationships determine who they are and may develop relationship addiction.
Are You Codependent?
There is a good chance that you are codependent if you are in a relationship with an addict.
It might be challenging to distinguish between your want to support and look out for someone you love and his obligation to look out for himself. Addiction affects many people, and over time, it may lower your self-esteem.
You can experience codependency even if your partner is not an addict. You may have brought these characteristics into the relationship from experience, or your addicted partner may exhibit codependent or addictive characteristics that have not yet been discovered. Codependence can manifest in a relationship in other ways besides having a recognized addiction.
Here are a few more:
● You feel that your partner is the source of your happiness and that without them, you cannot be completely content. You find it impossible to picture your existence without them.
● If you’re miserable, you hold your spouse responsible. When you’re depressed, you think your partner is to blame. Life would be fantastic if people didn’t say or do things that upset you.
● You’re holding out for rescue. When you’re depressed or overpowered by life, you look to your spouse or family members to cheer you up. They can only alter your mood, and it is their responsibility.
● You look out for your spouse. You serve as a wife, mother, housewife, and confidante. Before he even understands his needs, you meet them for him and make his life bearable.
● You consistently rank yourself last. Your partner’s needs come first, then your own. He absorbs all of your vitality, love, and knowledge.
● You expect your partner to behave in a certain way. You anticipate him to fulfill your needs. Only when he behaves in a specific manner can you say you love and feel loved by him.
● You need a companion to survive. You detest having to spend a whole day or night apart from him. Never wait too long to make a call or send a text. You feel unloved if he doesn’t call every hour.
Codependency Treatment for Drug Abuse
Fortunately, there are treatments available for codependency. Counseling works best when you recognize the signs of codependency and learn to take care of yourself first.
It is essential to create healthy boundaries that respect both parties in the relationship and understand what each person needs and expects from one other.
You should also focus on building self-esteem. It is essential to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and practice positive self-talk and affirmations daily to avoid mental illness.
You can also try activities that help you reconnect with yourself, explore your own interests, and form an identity outside of the relationship.
This could include yoga, journaling, hiking, or spending time in nature.
When codependency is more severe, it may be beneficial for the codependent partner to enroll in a separate treatment program.
To help the codependent person feel better about themselves and be better able to set objectives the state wants and draw boundaries that allow for a more profound emotional closeness and healthier relationships, psychiatric specialists can offer behavioral and personal treatment.
Conclusion
Codependency is a significant issue for many people, particularly those in relationships with someone with an addiction.
If you think you may be codependent or in a codependent relationship, seeking professional help and gaining the tools necessary to build healthier relationships is essential. Your connection will likely never be healthy without a cooperative effort to overcome both the addiction and the codependence.
With the proper support and guidance, it is possible to break free from codependent behaviors, learn to love yourself, and foster healthy relationships.
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